I give money to a number of charities, organizations, and of course Republican candidates. So everyone seems to think that I am a soft touch. I give money to the National Museum of the Marine Corps and the Navy and the Army must have found out. I don’t care how much crap you swabbies and doggies send me – you aren’t getting any of my money.
To the guys who keep sending me a nickel – I pull it off the page and throw it in my coin jar and then the material goes right in the shredder. You might think that it's like fishing. You throw in a nickel and I send you several dollars back. I don’t even remember who you are. Since it would cost me forty-four cents to send your nickel back, I think it’s more cost effective for us both for me to keep the nickel. If I sent it back, you would have to pay someone to open the envelope and do something with that nickel. Me keeping all those nickels is a classic “win-win” for us all.
For all of you who keep sending me address labels – I have enough. If I live to be 85 I won’t send enough snail mail to use up all the address labels that I have amassed. Besides, I only save two kinds of address labels – the ones from my Alma mater and the patriotic ones. All those with flowers, smiley faces, and other nonsense go right into the shredder.
If all you address label charities don’t mind, in the future could you send nickels instead?